Scared again

Me and grumps are back together had a wonderful weekend together last week, tomorrow we are meant to go to breezes for dinner party, but guess what his phone has been switched off for 2 maybe 3 days now???
I dont get it he usually tells me if his going somewhere and hasnt been in touch at all
I have that horrible feeling that his not going to show tomorrow and i will be so embarrased as breeze and nick are going to a lot of trouble!
Work is going fine I had 2 days off this week due to feeling ill and was late this morning as was very hung over
I must be good from now on i will i will, i think i do these things as im scared of the job being a success so i fuck it up before they can sack me or before i will fail
Silly isnt
WI is good cant wait for the next meeting not sure what they make of me but im not going to be sensitve anymore im just going to get on with it and enjoy !!!
Well heres hoping i have good news sunday about a great evening with grumps and friends i somehow doubt it, actually i have no idea what to think...